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A SEA OF MEMORIES
All Rights Reserved. 15 - PEOPLE WITH NO NAMES
In addition to the “Wine Lady,” there are a number of fellow-passengers I have encountered, aboard ships, who have made an unforgettable impression on me, yet I have no idea what their names are. I either never knew their names, or just in no way cared to remember them. People with no names.
Actually, that isn’t exactly true. I have given these people their own singular names, in order to have a point of identification when I bring to mind the incidents surrounding these particularly memorable travel companions.
One, in particular, truly stands out; “The Parisian.”
On the first night of one particular cruise, I was were seated, for dinner, at a table for eight. One of the couples was from Paris, and, for most of the meal, we all seemed to get along well. The conversation was light, as most first-nighters are, but interesting and enjoyable.
At one point, we were discussing Miami, my home town, and the subject of “bilingualism” came up. I explained that we very often make use of “Spanglish,” obviously a mix of Spanish and English.
Our gentleman, friend from France, suddenly went into this serious discussion about how, “…this sort of thing, this mix, can never happen in France. We have laws to protect our language…. French is a beautiful language, and we have to protect it against being corrupted by English, and other languages…Why, if you have a sign on a store, in France, the sign MUST be in French. If you want to put an English translation, and the French is so-many centimeters, then the English must be one-quarter the centimeters…”
I was totally confused. I could not make any sense of what this man was saying. Of course, I never did understand metrics, and have no idea what a centimeter is. But, I did get the idea, and I knew he was spouting anti-American crap.
I wasn’t the only one who realized this. As “The Parisian” went on-and-on, I noticed one of the other men at the table doing a slow burn. You could see him squirming, just ever so much, and his face took on just a tinge of red. After several minutes of listening to “The Parisian’s” tirade, my fellow passenger turned to him and, in a quiet, but firm tone, said, “Excuse me, Sir, but don’t you realize that, twice in this century, if it weren’t for us you &^%(^0’ers would be speaking German?”
The rest of as laughed, at first, and then had a “patriotic discussion” with “Mr. Parisian,”
showing the best of our nationalism and pride.
It was no surprise to us that our friend, and his wife, never appeared at our table, again, for the entire cruise. However, a positive circumstance came out of all of this. We three remaining couples had formed a bond that lasted for the rest of the cruise. We became good shipboard friends, and enjoyed each others’ company for the full seven days..
It was during embarkation on one particular cruise that we met the “Linebusters.” As we all waited, patiently, to have our Welcome Aboard photo taken, prior to boarding the ship, Mr. And Mrs,. Linebuster worked their way towards the front of the line, along the wall. Passing those that were waiting patiently, the Linebusters made their way past the crowd and to the head of the line. I would imagine that they thought they were being very clever, and that nobody noticed. In actuality, we all noticed, but didn’t bother to say anything.
Our next encounter was a few days later, as I was eating breakfast at the buffet. The line was closed precisely at 10:30 am, as it was scheduled to do. A hostess was standing near the end of the line, advising late-arriving passengers that the buffet was closed, but breakfast would be available, poolside, until noon.
At about 10:40, Mr. and Mrs. Linebuster arrived and attempted to get onto the line. This, in and of itself, seemed to be monumental. Mr. Linebuster actually appearing to be willing to stand on a line! However, they were, shortly, going to show their true colors.
As they tried to get into line, the hostess informed them that it was closed. The Linebusters appeared to comply, and left the line, only to work their way towards the front in an attempt to cut the line and get their breakfast. Just as Mr. Linebuster had grabbed a plate, and was about to begin filling it, the hostess went over to him, and repeated that the buffet was closed, and he needed to go to the pool area if he wanted breakfast…
During the course of the week, I stumbled upon the Linebusters several times, each on with some negative association. Nothing major, or truly aggravating, but annoying just the same.
The final blow came at disembarkation. While the pink tags were called to leave the ship first, there were the Linebusters, with their blue tags, rushing off he ship with the first wave of passengers. Pushing and shoving their way to the front, one last time, in a hurry to go nowhere.
I usually take my time disembarking. I live close to the port, so what’s another few minutes? I let everyone else leave, and then work my way, leisurely, to the terminal to pick up my luggage, which is a lot easier to find when the warehouse is two-thirds empty.
This particular day, I left the ship about forty-five minutes after the initial group, and the Linebusters, had embarked. When I arrived at the warehouse, most of my fellow-passengers, and their luggage, were gone. There was one noticeable exception. There, with a security guard, were Mr. And Mrs. Linebuster. Apparently, one of their pieces of luggage had been misplaced, and couldn’t be found.
I would imagine that the Linecutters spent quite a bit more time until their luggage was found, if it ever was…. Perhaps, all the time they saved, during the entire cruise. A verification that, often, “what goes around, comes around.”
Another favorite of mine was the Hogg family. Oh, you’ve seen them on a cruise, but I actually got to meet them on a personal basis.
Arriving poolside early, at about nine-fifteen one morning, I looked forward to a beautiful day at sea. It was the last day of a seven-night Western Caribbean cruise, and the weather had not been great during the first part of the cruise. All of the passengers were looking forward to a predicted gorgeous, sunny, day. Due to this fact, almost two-thirds of the poolside lounges were occupied, already.
As I looked for two empty lounges, I noticed four that had only towels, very neatly placed on them, which appeared to be “saved.” Of course, this is a no-no, as printed in the daily newsletter, announced often, and posted poolside. As we all know, very few lines actually “enforce” this rule, and a number of inconsiderate passenger, always see fit to “reserve” seats, both poolside and in the show lounge.
Luckily I was able to find two empty lounges in the second row, directly behind the four vacant chairs with the towels. I sat next to, and began a conversation, with another couple next to us.
About an hour later, at ten-thirty, or so, a couple walked by and asked if the four lounges were “taken.” I told them that the towels had been there for an hour, but I hadn’t seen any people. The couple next to us said that they had been there since eight-thirty, and had seen nobody.
The newly arrived couple went over to a pool attendant and told him what we had said. He came over and asked us if we had seen anyone using the four lounges. We all told him what we had told the young couple, the lounges had, indeed, been unused since before breakfast. Upon hearing this, the pool attendant removed the four towels and threw them into the towel hamper, whereupon the young couple placed their towels on two of the lounges, and got comfortable.
Of course, the remaining two lounges did not remain that way very long. Another couple came along, saw the two empty lounges, and made very good use of them.
It was after noon, approximately, twelve-thirty, that Mr. And Mrs. Hogg, and their two little Hogglets, arrived and the saga began. Mr. Hogg began talking to the two couples in the first row, and told them that he believed that they were in his chairs. The two couples explained that the lounges were, indeed, empty when they sat there. Mrs. Hogg placed her foot, not so gently, into her mouth as she started to yell, “My husband came up here a while ago and put four towels on these chairs!” How long ago, she was asked, since we all knew it had to be, at least, four hours.
As this was going on, a pool attendant came over to investigate the “trouble.” The situation was explained, and the attendant explained to The Hogg’s that it appeared that Mr. Hogg had placed the towels there, four hours earlier, and that doing so was improper, since so many people were eager to sit poolside. He went on to say that, after an hour, or so, the towels would normally be customarily removed by one of the attendants, as the lounge would be considered abandoned. This was more true if, as in this case, there were only towels on the chaise, and no personal belongings.
After some arguing, and bickering, the Hogg’s moved on, in a vain attempt to find a vacant lounge. Score one for the rule-following passengers.
Perhaps you think this little tale is done, but it isn’t quite finished yet. Those of us that remained had a good laugh when I reminded them that, not only had the Hogg family been thwarted in their sinister lounge-saving attempt, but, in addition, they would be charged twenty-two dollars for each of the four towels they “lost.”
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