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KeithnRita

Christmas Carols

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Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

SCHIZOPHRENIA - Do You Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY - We Three Queens Disoriented Are.

DEMENTIA - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.

NARCISSISTIC - Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)

MANIA - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town ... or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!

PARANOIA - Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.

PERSONALITY DISORDER - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell you why.

DEPRESSION - Silent anhedonia, Holy anhedonia. All is calm, All is pretty lonely.

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell...

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY - Thoughts of Roasting in an Open Fire.

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE - On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).

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My favorite "Christmas Carol" is one written, many years ago, by Tom Lehrer, entitled, simply, "A Christmas Carol."

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Christmas time is here, by golly,

Disapproval would be folly,

Deck the halls with hunks of holly,

Fill the cup and don't say "when."

Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,

Mix the punch, drag out the dickens,

Even though the prospect sickens,

Brother, here we go again.

On Christmas day you can't get sore,

Your fellow man you must adore,

There's time to rob him all the more

The other three hundred and sixty-four.

Relations, sparing no expense'll

Send some useless old utensil,

Or a matching pen and pencil.

"just the thing i need! how nice!"

It doesn't matter how sincere it

Is, nor how heartfelt the spirit,

Sentiment will not endear it,

What's important is the price.

Hark the Herald Tribune sings,

Advertising wondrous things.

God rest ye merry, merchants,

May you make the yuletide pay.

Angels we have heard on high

Tell us to go out and buy!

So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle,

Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle,

Driving his reindeer across the sky.

Don't stand underneath when they fly by.

(SPOKEN)Actually I did rather well myself, this last Christmas. The nicest present I

received was a gift certificate "good at any hospital for a lobotomy".

Rather thoughtful.

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