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Tut

Puns for the day

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1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The

ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but

don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A

beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome" "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly,

"I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy!

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to

look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I

couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,

"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you

can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other

and says "Dam!".

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the

craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your

kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in

the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But

why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer"!

18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in

Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself

to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,

which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate

very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him .(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A

super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally,! there was the person who sent twenty different

puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make

them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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Those are all great, Sue. I especially love number 18. Thanks for the laughs and thanks for taking the time to post these. DD will get a kick out of them too. Hugs,

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:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:

Definately 10 smileys!!!! The highest possible rating!! Loved it!!!

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