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matchstickxx

Laws of the Natural Universe

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LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose

will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible

corner.

Law of Probability:

The probability of being watched is directly proportional

to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had

a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in

will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works

every time).

Law of the Bath:

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases

when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't

work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater:

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the

aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will

ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have

adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets:

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face

down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the

newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument:

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking

about.

Brown's Law:

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law:

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law:

As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will

stop making it.

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