The Top Ten Most Rude and Annoying Passengers on a Cruise

They can be found on every sailing - ill-mannered and thoughtless individuals who can’t be bothered with rules, regulations or just plain common sense. Here are my top ten most rude and annoying fellow passengers.

10. The Smoker. I almost left this one off the list. After all, cruisers have spoken up in recent years, and the cruise lines have listened, with fewer places to light up. That still doesn’t mean I have to like it when I have to wait until “smoke free” night in the casino to play the slots or walk through a cloud of smoke on the promenade deck.

9. The Chair Slider. I’m on a different sleep schedule than most and like my head to hit the pillow just as others are heading up to the Lido deck for some late night action. Thus begins the scraping and screeching of deck chairs across the deck floor. Little known to the nighttime revelers, there could be folks (not necessarily party poopers!) just below their feet trying to get a little shuteye. The same goes for daytime poolside activity and people looking for quiet time in the cabins below them.

8. The Racer. This applies mostly to the kids, of course. Parents: I can’t emphasize enough – instruct your children on the importance of not racing around the ship. The result is not always exhilarating, kids. Instead, you might trip and land on your face, injure someone else, or break something. Your parents and the cruise lines will be sued, and no one comes out happy.

7. The Inebriated. I like to party as much as you, but please don’t drink so much that you become loud, obnoxious, fall down and otherwise cause a scene. If you happen to be passed out in a bar on shore and wake up just as the ship is leaving port, I’ll be all to happy to wave goodbye.

6. The Cell Phone Chatterbox. I like the olden days when no one had cell phones onboard, or if you did, you shut it off out of respect for others and because it was too damned expensive to use. Nowadays, with everyone and their kid having a smartphone, everybody’s jabbering – at the dinner table, in the elevators, in the lounges, at the pool and everywhere else. I don’t care to hear about what happened on your date last night, what you might be missing at home or your obscenities. You’re not missing anything, by the way – you’re on vacation! If you need to talk, please text. At least I can close my eyes and look the other way.

5. The Loudmouth. This particularly pertains to folks standing around in the hallways with their friends and neighbors right outside your door yammering away in their noisy playground voices concerning plans for the next day or what they’re doing for dinner. Please, neighbors – use your church voices. Meet in your cabin or in a public space to have your gathering. Let the rest of us get our beauty sleep or just enjoy the peaceful quietness of our personal space.

4. The Whiner. Apparently nothing is good about their vacation, and you just wished they had stayed home. The food is bad, the cabin’s too small, the comedian was stupid, the pool is too cold, the ship is too hot, the deck is too crowded, the drinks are watered down, the tour was lousy, the staff is rude, the lines are too long … I could go on and on. These people don’t complain to the right people, either. They complain to their fellow passengers – you and me. Well guess what, Willy Whiner – we don’t want to hear your rants and rages about things you can do little about.

3. The Door Slammer. Some people are rude while others are just loud by nature. In fact, I’m married to one. The door slams, the dishwasher door slams, the draws slam, and even the toilet seat slams. He doesn’t mean to, that’s just how he is. So, as part of our cabin orientation on the first day, I gently remind him to go easy on the doors. I wish other Slammers would get the same gentle prompts.

2. The Slacker. You know them – the couple who’s late for dinner. This, of course, pertains to traditional dining, where everyone dines at the same table at the same time with the same dinner companions each night. Everyone is seated, menus in hand – except for the Slackers. With no regard for others, they meander in when they feel like it. Well, to let you know, my husband (you remember – the Door Slammer), doesn’t like to be kept waiting, especially when it comes to dinner, and you can bet he’ll give you the evil eye when you finally decide to arrive.

And, now – the number one most hated and despised person on the ship:

1. The Chair Hog. There are two kinds of Chair Hogs: The Deck Chair Hog and the Show Chair Hog. The Deck Chair Hogs arrives at the pool deck before breakfast claiming their perfectly positioned lounge chairs with a personal object – such as a towel. If the lounge chair is not perfectly positioned, they move it to their location of choice – thus becoming a “Chair Slider”, as well. So now they are doubly hated and despised. After a four-hour breakfast, the Hogs finally show up, disregarding the glares of those around them. The Show Chair Hog saves chairs for their entire circle of friends – a whole row or two. Please do the rest of us a favor. If you have a whole posse arriving to the theatre for a show and you all want to sit together, then meet up and walk in together. Let’s even up the playing field when competing for a seat at the theatre.

By Janice Neves, CruiseCrazies Contributor

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Photo credit: Janice Neves