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Hungry Black Man Problems... Can You Relate?

CruiseMan3000

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Let's go back a few years when I sailed Norwegian Sun from Miami. Great ship. Amazing cruise. It was the morning I was supposed to disembark the vessel and I was a little sad. You know how after you have such a great time on a cruise, you don't want to leave? Yeah, that feeling was hovering over me like a cloud. In fact, another cruise was awaiting me that afternoon.This was the first time I decided to do a back-to-back cruise. You see, as soon as I disembarked Norwegian Sun, I was jumping in my rental car, driving north and boarding Regal Empress for a cruise to the Bahamas from Port Everglades. Very rarely do I remember my hunger pains (because I don't miss a single meal) but I vividly remember this day -- I was incredibly hungry!

I got up, showered, dressed and made a b-line for the breakfast buffet. Things were going great. I got a table on the patio area, aft of the ship, had a nice a Miami breeze caressing my bald head and Mr. Sun (the real guy, not the ship) was having fun coloring me because I could sense the blackness of my skin getting darker with each minute -- but it was greatly welcomed! So I had my food there, enjoying everything from fruit to pancakes and even a piece of smoked salmon, but I still longed for something "extra." Then I remembered I got a glance of something on the buffet I have been eating ever since I was a child: cinnamon buns. Cinnamon buns are my guilty pleasure and since I was on vacation, I thought I'd indulge in one... or two. Plus, the sun was having too much fun with my skin (I thought I'd give him a break).

So I got in line at the double-sided buffet, keeping my eyes on the pan that had the cinnamon buns in it. Mentally, I was already downing like two. As I got closer and closer to the pan, I realized the number of cinnamon buns started becoming less and less. I began praying, "Lord, please let me just get one. I just want one." My turn was next! Finally, I'll get to have one! And guess what? There was exactly one cinnamon bun left in the pan! So I grabbed the tongs, situated my plate and then... then... another pair of tongs comes into view. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. From out of nowhere, this older gentlemen, reached across two pans of food and placed his tongs RIGHT ON TOP OF THE ONLY CINNAMON BUN LEFT! Was this really happening?

I had a decision to make: I could be the good Christian guy my mom raised me to be, or I could be the hungry Black man getting what he wanted at any cost. Well, since my mom wasn't around, and since my stomach started singing loudly, I decided to go for it. I looked at him. He looked at me, then he opened his tongs and clasped them around the cinnamon bun. I thought, "This guy CAN'T be serious, can he?" So I got my tongs and clasped it from the other direction... and began pulling it back. Next thing I know, the cinnamon bun is back in the pan and we keep pushing each other's tongs back. The people in line were laughing and I uttered, "This ain't funny! You don't know the code? Well let me break it down for you: S-T-O-P! You never come between a hungry Black man and his food! Didn't your momma teach you?" After saying that, the laughs reached new heights and I notice a crowd spectating this happening like it was the SuperBowl. Needless to say, I won the tongs battle and the man was so angry, he threw his tongs on the ground. Yeah! Who was hungry now? It wasn't me! But he should have known better not to challenge "Hungry Black Man 3000!"

So I enjoyed my cinnamon bun, cleaned up my dining area and headed off the ship knowing if another person ever decides to challenge me with tongs on another cruise ship, they'll meet their match... and they better pray I'm not ravenous! So bring it! But seriously, don't you think that guy was rude? Reaching over those pans to get into the cinammon bun pan, then putting HIS tongs on [what was about to be] MY food! The nerve of some people! Good thing I did the Christian thing. Well, until next Monday's post, y'all have a cruisetacular week!



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I love your writing style. And, can relate to the cinnamon buns. They are my husband's favorite. Every morning on a cruise, my task is to scope out the buffet on the Lido deck and bring back coffee for me, tea for him and pastries. His words are, "if they are sticky buns, you know I would love them". Come to find out that Carnival now has them every morning ... quite the popular delicacy!

Please don't give up your written word. It is filled with humor, emotion, action and honesty!

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I love your writing style. And, can relate to the cinnamon buns. They are my husband's favorite. Every morning on a cruise, my task is to scope out the buffet on the Lido deck and bring back coffee for me, tea for him and pastries. His words are, "if they are sticky buns, you know I would love them". Come to find out that Carnival now has them every morning ... quite the popular delicacy!

Please don't give up your written word. It is filled with humor, emotion, action and honesty!

Aww thanks -- you're too kind with your comments! I'm glad you enjoy reading along! And no way? Your husband was raised right then! THE ONLY breakfast commodity worth standing in line for! :-) If he was there, I know he would have helped me fend of the perpetrator!

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In all seriousness, I have had this happen to me on various cruises...MANY times. And it wasn't just centered around a dessert table. I've had people that had already eaten, jump in front of me to grab more of an item they already had. Guess they had the attitude that "I've already stood in line"!! I usually try to blow off rudeness and stupidity on a cruise, but nobody should come between me and my food!! ESPECIALLY on a cruise!!! You have more patience than I sir!! Good story. :)

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